Body Language: What is your Date Trying to Tell You?
Author: Cindi Barnett
We've all heard the term "body Language", but do you really understand it? Body Language is a form of nonverbal communication which is usually understood as the process of sending and receiving wordless messages. Such messages can be communicated through gesture, proximity, posture, facial expressions and eye contact. Generally speaking, there are two things that happen during a conversation; content and process.
1. Content is what actually is said.
2. Process is all the other things that happen during a conversation.
In other words, the content is when we say one thing and the process is when we mean another thing.
Understanding your date's body language or nonverbal communication can help you determine whether or not your date is on the right track. Misreading your date is perhaps the number one reason that a date becomes a disaster. Many singles often say that they were unsure what their date was thinking or feeling which led to an uncomfortable situation. To help you avoid uncomfortable or a confusing date, read the following 6 nonverbal indicators to help you better understand whether or not your date is interested in you.
1. Eye contact
While sitting with your date, pay close attention to whether or not your date makes routine eye contact. Eye contact or the lack thereof is a powerful communication tool. If your date readily makes eye contact with you, it is a sure sign that he/she is interested and comfortable with you. Strong eye contact is an indicator that the person is involved in your conversation and respects you. Good eye contact also conveys honesty and trust.
The lack of eye contact, however, can mean several things. Typically, the lack of eye contact is a sign that the person you are interacting with is deeply uncomfortable and/or uninterested in you. Poor eye contact can also mean that the person is very shy. Usually, if a person has difficulty making eye contact because of shyness, they will find other forms of body language or means of nonverbal communication to express their like for you if they are interested.
Everyone who has ever dated has gone through this. Talk about frustrating --countless minutes, even hours of nothing but SILENCE! You try and try but it seems your date just isn't interested in talking. Ask a detailed question and only receive a 'yes' or 'no' response. A quiet date could mean just a couple of things. The simplest explanation could be that your date is in a bad mood which has nothing to do with you. Sometimes silence means that your date is shy and may not feel that you would be interested in anything they have to say. Silence usually means that your date is disinterested and bored with you. If your date happens to be quiet and refuses to make eye contact, it is a clue that you may be better off calling it a night and moving on. You will have to evaluate this scenario on your own.
This body language is a sure indicator that your date is not working. If your date is constantly checking his/her watch, fidgeting with items, constantly moving around in his/her chair and seems to be somewhere else your date really is not interested in being present with you. This behavior should tell you that your date would rather be elsewhere.
When your date is constantly scoping the room to see who else is there, it is a sure sign your date is not interested in you. Looking around and scoping is a mechanism to avoid communicating with you. Conversely, if you find yourself in a crowded place and your date is only focused on you, your date is very interested in what you're doing and have to say.
5. Body Posture
This is an important and obvious sign of comfort of discomfort. Signs of discomfort are easy to read. They are: constantly leaning away from you, the folding of his/her arms, tightly crossed legs, stiff spine and a body that's turned at an angle away from you. Those forms of body posture should tell you that communication and physical contact is unwanted.
6. Personal Contact
Physical contact is by far the easist form of nonverbal communication to detect. If your date avoids touching in any manner, holding hands, hugging or light kisses he/she is really turned off by you. Repeated attempts to have physical contact with your date will be taken very negatively if your date objects. If your date initiates physical contact, you should consider it a measure of comfort with you.
In most situations, a combination of the six indicators will be present which should tell you if your date is a hit or a dud. Reading body language is something all of us do on a daily basis but sometimes we try to ignore it when we really want to "like" someone or have them "like" us. Meeting or dating someone new is an important aspect of human interaction. If you want to improve your dating successes, start paying closer attention to what your date's says and what your date's body language is really saying.
About the Author
Cindi Barnett is a contributing editor for Lavish Romance.com. Lavish Romance is a free dating service for adults.
Practice Reading Body Language with a new date at friendfinder.com